too too too many times....

I took a much needed break from the NCAA tournament (seriously, I sat on my ass for 3 straight days watching that shit, and I only had a few drinks) to attend Nets/Clippers w/ Ma, Pa, and the littlest sister. A few notes before my main rant...



Apparently tonight was Sly's birthday party. What that meant was an additional THIRTEEN mascots joining the party. 14 if you count Mini Sly. I asked my dad if he thought Mini Sly was a kid or a midget and he said "Definitely a midget." Man I hope he's right. Anyway. It was a little surreal having a) multiple mascots running around acting like morons; and b) mascots from OTHER TEAMS running around acting like morons. I'm not sure why, but seeing the bizarre Orlando Magic dragon (picture the Phanatic with multi-colored extra appendages) pumping up the Nets fans was a little strange. All props to Benny the (no I won't say "da") Bull for having the best dunk in the mascot dunk line...this paragraph has gotten too strange to even make a mascot in trouble w/ the law joke. It was all a little strange to witness. But while the crowd cheered louder for the flying t-shirts than for the Nets (the tragic demise of Maude Flanders has made me very conscious of the locations of the airborne tees) and this is something that makes me pretty sad as a general rule, I do have to say I felt a moderate amount of glee to hear one sound a bit louder than the cheers for the home team: the vociferous boos for the Philadelphia Eagles mascot. Because FUCK the Eagles, that's why. Hee. Anyway, happy birthday Sly. I didn't realize it had been 10 years, but time flies, I guess....

Speaking of mascots, I noticed G-Wiz (the Wizards mascot) wearing a "00" on his jersey, which is pretty standard, although I don't know if it used to be a singular zero before the AGENT of Zero came to town. Not really being up on my mascot trivia, I'm not entirely sure. I guess Gil doesn't mind as long as there is a numeric differentiation between who's got how many zeroes. Or...something...that sentence didn't make sense to me either. I have always wondered about our dear friend Sly though. He wears the #1...but so does Marcus Williams! At what point can Marcus be like, "Ummm...hey Mr. Thorn? Yeah, I was just wondering, um.... The guy in the doofy wolf costume is wearing my jersey number...any way we can fix that?" Does he need to be a starter before that can happen? Before him, Brandon Armstrong wore #1...but that was Brandon Armstrong, so I always just figured no one other than me realized.

And a big shout-out to Superdunk, the former Nets mascot whose existence has been all but erased, other than in my memory. At least according to a cursory Google Images search. Superdunk, we barely knew ye.

Anyway, just a sloppy game all around. It was full of blown defensive assignments, missed layups, boneheaded turnovers and botched dunks. Just an ugly one all around. Vince was, once again, a lot worse than his stat line would indicate. (Now is a good time to mention his new nickname, "Air Pussy," courtesy of the sexiness over at Stop Mike Lupica.) Mikki had 2 fouls too quickly, so he was a non-factor in the first half. Boki was ice cold until the end. Maggette started the game off w/ a jumper and I said to my dad, "Watch...he's gonna do that all night." Sure enough.... Frank had RJ on him all night, and RJ, bless his 100% effort giving heart, is still a full step slow on defense due to his ankle. Poor E. House was visibly frustrated at not being able to get it going at all. (I did watch him all through warm-ups/intros again, and I stand by my previous assertion that he's the most important "glue" guy on the team.) JKidd looked great, actually. His head was in it, and he took it over when he had to (i.e. when Carter disappeared for long stretches at a time) and just made great decisions. It's my least favorite new sportscaster thing to say - "This guy just makes great decisions down the stretch!" - but in JKidd's case, at least for tonight, it was true.
In any event, a win is a win, and right now those is im-po-tent.

Day late update:
Vid of my favorite part-


Oh, and after watching them hang out down in front of my section all game, I feel confident saying that the Team Hype guys have amazing arms. But also that they're probably gay.
(Dear Team Hype guys: You may prove me wrong if you so desire. Lemme know. Love, Becky)

So, the rant...
OK. With all due love, respect and thanks to my father for taking me to games all these years, and especially tonight...
He is guilty of one of the most loathsome fan practices known to man: leaving early.

Now I'm willing to accept the fact that sometimes your team is part of a 30-point blow-out and watching the 12th man get in might be less important than beating traffic. But a 2-point game with 5 minutes left??? Ugh. It's like...why buy tickets to the game if you don't want to actually WATCH THE GAME??? I'm a huge NBA fan, so I hate when people say this, but apparently many people feel very strongly that the only part of an NBA game worth watching is the last 2 minutes. So even if you want to watch the rest, won't the last 2 minutes quite possibly be the best?? Or even if not, I mean...you're a FAN, aren't you? If TRAFFIC is really your #1 concern, do what I do, and wait it out...wait an extra 5-10 minutes after the game ends and let everyone ELSE rush out. I don't know, this may just be a Becky thing, but I hated myself for leaving the game w/ the result still up in the air. It's like...what's the point of going if you don't actually care about watching the drama of the game unfold?
"He who leaves before the bell tolls, fails to see his team's story unfold," or whatever the hell the line is from that commercial w/ Phil Jackson. It's a stupid commercial, no doubt, but it's RIGHT! Like I understand my dad isn't as hardcore a fan as I am, and my mom wants him to be happy because her life is easier that way, and my sister was being a cunt tonight for no apparent reason so she wanted to leave asap, but...I dunno. I don't really have a point, except to say that I abhor the "leave early to beat the traffic" people. Unless you have little kids that need to be put to bed or something, it's just inexcusable. Like, OK Dad, you work late and don't get a chance to follow the team that closely, but tonight you are actually AT THE GAME! Stay and enjoy it! If not, just hand over your Nets shirt because I'm confiscating your fandom until you are ready to use it properly.