Saturday, January 06, 2007

This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

I just arrived back at my perch adjacent to both television and computer, turned on both, and found the special SATURDAY edition of SUNDAY NFL Countdown...and I'll be damned if I didn't just get legitimately giddy. For some reason, I am particularly looking forward to this round of playoffs. There are enough teams that I like to root against as well as randomly like that I could actually have a rooting interest in most of these games. That never happens! I'm pretty clear cut where I stand in all of these match-ups...only here's a weird one. I like to root against the Jets. Jets fans get on my nerves a lot (it is no coincidence that they usually happen to also be Mets fans). However, guess which fan base is worse? That's right- the Disciples of Dreamboat. So there you go, Gang Green. I'm all yours tomorrow from the hours of 1-4. What's that? You don't want me? Ahh, that's a shame, I am pretty freaking awesome.

What of the Boys in Blue? No one is giving them a prayer, let alone a shot or a chance. Um, except Deadspin, but the pick somehow got lost in some kind of St. Louis Cardinals propaganda. How shocking. Even Philly fans, usually the poster boys of doom and gloom, are openly saying, "WHEN the Eagles win," and, "The Eagles will win," to me. They're not even worried about the SI jinx, which to be fair may have been more of a reverse reverse reverse jinx. Whatever THAT means. Anyway, it's all been said about the GMen. They suck, and they hurt my feelings, and they fell back asswards into the playoffs. But here they are, in the playoffs. Here's my feeling- it can't be any worse than last year vs. Carolina, right? Ugh. Yes, I have been walking around the last couple days literally nervous, with some non-literal butterflies in my tummy, strictly about this game. It's almost like the first day of school...where you're kind of excited but also totally filled with dread. In fact, I think that sums up this year's Giants perfectly. They will simultaneously excite you and fill you with dread, week after week.

In talking with my aunt last night, somehow the subject of football came up. This is strange, because this aunt is not the football fan aunt. It's also strange because she mentioned since they moved to Philly, she became an Eagles fan. Completely unacceptable. My uncle and cousins are Giants fans. Then again, I don't know what "fan" really means to her. She said some stuff about really liking Donovan McNabb, but how "nice" of a story this whole Jeff Garcia business is. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but...I'm pretty sure it means she's not really a Philly fan. ANYWAY. Since my cousins are old enough that none of them live at home anymore, my uncle apparently watches Giants games by himself every week from the comfort of their extremely lavish home ("lavish" being relevant because the TV situation is a fucking sweet set-up). I guess being in one's 50s (and not being familiar with these here interwebs and their intricate intertwining of sports fans) and watching games alone is kind of like being trapped in a bomb shelter or something. Because apparently he is constantly wondering aloud if anyone else can tell that Eli Manning is just "not very good" at football. "I don't think he wants to be out there," my uncle continuously says incredulously. "Can anyone else tell?" I assured my aunt that yes, some of us can indeed tell. I told her to pass the message along that he is not alone. Then I shook my head and stared off into the distance with a sad look on my face as a quick montage of Eli's season passed before my eyes.

When Eagles fans are optimistic and I'm staring off into the distance, nothing good can come. For anyone. I want to say it will be a huge letdown game for these Eagles and their *lovely* fans, but...I don't know. Do I think NY CAN win? Yes. Do I think they WILL? Ehhhhh. Fuck it, you know what? Yes. It's 70 degrees in January and the freaking golf course by my house is open. All things considered, a GMen victory against Jeff Garcia isn't all that inconceivable. (Yeah, they pulled me back in again. Fuck me.)

Anyone else catch this story today? I heard it on the radio when I was driving around. Despite the complete bludgeoning of Godfather jokes, I enjoyed it anyway.
The marijuana was actually hidden inside the cannoli, and there was "enough so someone could have a little personal consumption around Christmastime," Nassau County Police spokesman Kevin Smith said.
Awww, Long Island police spokesmen are so cute. I bet he followed that statement up with an elbow nudge and a "Wink, wink...know what I mean?"

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