Thursday, January 25, 2007

Catch 'em in the club throwin' pretty ass 'bows

Relevant title! Yeah! (OK, almost.)
I have to admit, I throw some 'bows in the bars/clubs. I can't speak to the attractiveness of my elbows, but I'm pretty, so perhaps my elbows are pretty by association. Anyhow, it's not specific to NYC. I used to do it in Ithaca too. But there are just some people (girls especially) who have an over-inflated sense of the personal space to which they are entitled. I find it to be my place in life to let them know that they do not, in fact, deserve a 10 foot radius. Sometimes it's of the "Oops, my bad!" variety, and other times it's more of the "No, you get the fuck out of my way" variety. Along those same lines, in getting back into my 3-day-a-week commute to Grand Central, I have reinvented my own special move. I like to call it the "No Bitch, You Get Out of My Way Maneuver." And I must say, I execute this with the utmost skill and dexterity.

I had a thought about leading into some Nets chatter with that, by making some sort of 'bows in the club/'bows in the game comparison. But really the team is just depressing me. Not that I am giving up. Only BAD fans do that. The news over the weekend about RJ's surgery kind of let the wind out of the hot air balloon though. (What does that even MEAN?) So there are injuries and they're missing 2 of 5 starters (and one of the remaining healthy starters is Jason Collins) so it's kind of forgiveable to lose games when the team is relying heavily upon the Boki & Marcus Show. HOWEVA. Losing 2 games in a row by 1 point when you are blowing 20 point leads and 11 point leads (with 4 minutes left) is unacceptable. It really looks like Frank needs to figure out some, ANY rotation, and make sure Kidd gets some rest. Because this whole "no running a play at the end and just giving it to Vince and letting him figure something out" plan just DOESN'T WORK. The Jersey Boys should have lost to the Knicks last week but somehow Uncle Cliffy pulled a 4-leaf clover out of his ass and managed to bat the disgusting VC miss into the hoop. There is no reason for someone other than Jason Kidd to run the offense. When you have one of the best point guards of all time on your team? You do NOT let fucking Carter play YMCA ball with the game on the line!


I am glad to see VC not starting in the All-Star Game. He's been underachieving and regressing. I understand he's going through a divorce and yada yada yada, but come on dude...someone needs to step up and be the fucking MAN, and there is NO reason it should not be you. Until you do that, you don't deserve it. And yes, I love Agent Zero as much as anyone (read: everyone) else, but I would say the same thing no matter who beat him out (by 3,010 votes no less).

My friend allegedly has a version of this video that ends with a shot of the "Wince" face and then a screen shot of the text "What happened?" Nobody wants to upload it though, so you'll have to take my word for it.

Sorry the quality is low, but hot damn. Nasty. "What happened?" indeed.

Or, as a pro put it today:

And yes, we know Vince made the right play on the drive-and-kick to Williams for his 3 (98-89), the right play on the pass-out to Kidd for the 3 (109-106), and the right play to Nachbar for the corner 3 that could have iced it.

But a three-shot foul, 26 feet from the cup, with four on the shot clock (Baron’s, 104-99)? That weak runner that led to an open, transition 3 (Harrington’s, 104-102)? That charging foul at 1:39 that led to the tying score (Biedrins, 106 apiece)?

Is some demented person scripting this stuff?
"Demented." There you have it.

Normally, the chance to watch the Nets on TNT would be a good reason to stay in. But I feel like drinking and have been watching them regularly on League Pass (and the bar, of course) anyway. Seriously, that borrowed account is the best gift anyone has ever given me. It's also like that episode of Friends, where they get the free porn and don't want to turn it off because they're afraid it won't be there anymore when they try to turn it back on. I haven't been able to turn it off. To be fair though, the end of a Bucks game does not have nearly the same pizzazz as a Peter North money shot. (Yes, that's right- Peter North and the word "pizzazz" in the same sentence. Go ahead and try it, I dare you.) Long story short, I'll make the bartenders turn on the game for me but I won't get to hear the commentary. Small sacrifice for drinking, I say.

I know this is kind of old, and they could have done a LOT more in terms of making the article entertaining, but...well, it must be said: Real recognize real. I'm not sure why, but this warms my heart just a lil. Maybe not down to the cockles, but...close enough.

And there are bunches and bunches of trade rumors. I won't weigh in until I hear one that is kind of realistic. Interesting though that they are playing the Clips tonight and I've been seeing Carter/Williams for Maggette/Livingston rumors. I think giving away Marcus is a bad idea. But as usual, no one is asking me. That's alright, though. If something gets done (and I have a sneaking suspicion something WILL go down before the trade deadline), I'm sure it will be a smart move. In Rod we trust.

Apropos of absolutely nothing...
I wish to register a COMPLAINT.
Girls. Listen up.
It's a hot look, but only if you do it correctly. Otherwise, you look stupid. I would say about half of the chicks in NYC currently look stupid. Fix it, please, so I can stop rolling my eyes and shaking my head at complete strangers and to no one in particular.

(I have a cd where they perform this live and Cleese freaking LOSES it in the best way possible from the very beginning. He walks in all pissed off to start and just YELLS, "I wish to register a COMPLAINT!" That's where that came from.)

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