Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Who that man in a black sedan....

Thanks to the random dude I hung out w/ over the weekend who was enough of a drunk that he played his idea of the "best song ever" for me 6 times because he didn't remember playing it any of the first 5's been in my head for 4 straight days. At this point, I'm willing to admit it: this guy rocks. Then again, it could just be from all the repetition.... Anyway, if I never see you again, Drunk Guy, thanks for that.

But that's not why we are here.

Fun fact: I am a regular at Cody's now. Not sure this is a good thing. But the waitress (who is really very nice) actually made a point to come over to me and say, "Hey, you come in here a lot, don't you?" So that's fun.
I went there to watch the GMen get their asses completely whooped (the score really did not do justice to how completely awful they were) and was planning on staying to watch the rest of the Nets game I made the substitute bartender put on for me...only my friend who I dragged with me kept trying to make me feel better about the sand in Eli's vagina by saying "Hey, look...the Nets are winning! That's good!" And the dirty looks I was giving her were not deterring her and even my not-so-subtle "They're gonna blow that lead, shut UP" comments were not doing the trick...and by the time MNF ended, the lead was down to 2, so I said "I'm not sticking around to watch them blow a big lead and lose" because I was so pissed off at the freaking Giants and it ended up being the right call. I'm not discussing the travesty that is currently NYG football. As for the NJN,'s early. No need to bug out yet.... RJ looks OK in limited time. I think he should ease back in. Mikki should play more, at least while Cliffy is out. And it is scary as hell to have the channel turned to the game and see Nenad leaving the game w/ an ouchie (TM: The Cavalier). Anyway, I'm home in RoCo until Sunday, not just with the YES Network but also with LEAGUE PASS BITCHES. So maybe I'll have something to say, in lieu of starting my paper.

Anyhow, in honor of travelling through both Grand Central AND Port Authority today and pretty much realizing I hate everyone that comes within 50 yards of me, I am going to give a shout-out to 2 people that really ESPECIALLY pissed me off in the past week.

To a dude we will only call "Ass Clown":
Actually, I don't even know his real name bc he's just a dude in my roto NBA league and I only know one other person in the league. But he is an ass clown, so that is what he will be called. Now, I have since been calmed down from my fantasy league inspired rage, but I just wanted to have a little closure on the matter. Ass Clown is the guy in the league that has a crappy team but constantly makes trade proposals to everyone that only a completely moron would accept. It's well known in the league apparently. I probably get one or 2 proposals from Ass Clown every day or so. So Ass Clown posts on the message board that he really needs a center and wants to trade VC for him. He simultaneously makes me 2 offers, asking for Okafor and DH and Kobe in a couple combos and offering me the likes of VC, Ricky Davis, and C-Webb. I'm used to this kid's crap trade offers so I just reject them w/out any comment or anything but offer him straight up Big Ben for VC. He writes back to reject and says "Make a FAIR offer" and then offers me another one of his crap combos. Then he immediately goes on the message board and posts "Wallace for Carter HAHAHA CLASSIC OFFER" like a freaking infant. Not even like that's a bad offer when you are admittedly desperate for a center, but who airs out trade proposals on the message board? And then he posts a couple more times to make a "fair" offer, so I end up getting all pissed off and shooting off a slightly bitchy post, and then we are going back and forth, with him telling me VC is so much better than Kobe and Wallace sucks and I should trade Okafor bc he's going to get hurt anyway and Wallace isn't even a top center and yada yada I went off on him bc he's a damn moron. If you love VC so much and think Kobe sucks, why do you want to make that trade so badly? And if I should be "grateful" you would take my "injury-prone" center, why on earth would I want to take WINCE off your hands? For MAMBA no less. Then to be funny he kept offering me shit players for Okafor AND DH and then in a really "funny" move offered me his whole team for Okafor after I told him I would be refusing to deal with him from here on out. Anyway. Just being a moron and drawing my ire is enough to warrant him this shout-out.
Ass Clown: sorry for posting bitchy responses on the message board; I should have just let my guys' stats and the league standings speak for themselves. Nice pickup of Garbajosa though. He's sure to put you over the top.

As an aside here...PMSing and posting on the fantasy league message board is not a good idea. I fully understand at this point why guys don't want girls in the fantasy league. So...I apologize.

To a girl we will just call "C-Rag":
Seriously, after being forced to drink $35 worth of liquor for a 4 hour open bar when you only arrived in time for 1.5 hours, I am not the most patient person in the world. Although, to be fair, I am not the most patient person to begin with. Whatever. Not the point. ANYWAY. I run into my friend at a point very late in the night when I am tired of having elbows/drinks/broken glasses flying everywhere around me and sigh, "I need to get out of here, at this point I just hate everyone here." C-Rag overhears and decides to get all loud w/ me to her friend, all "THIS girl hates everyone at the party, THIS girl hates us, we better go," all sarcastic and bitchy-like. And New Becky (bear with me...I made a resolution a couple months ago to not be SUCH a hater) has been attempting to be more patient and less bitchy, so first I tell her she heard me wrong. She says "No, I heard EXACTLY what you said." So I say, "Well you took it out of context." And C-Rag replies, "No, I heard what you said and I KNOW what you meant." Keep in mind I was not even addressing her skank ass. But I'm still trying to be civil and diffuse the situation because I really was just exhausted by an entire weekend of binge drinking and wanted to go home. Then C-Rag's Generic Friend #1 asks what's wrong, so I say very matter-of-factly, not at all trying to be inflammatory, "Your friend is being a bitch for no reason. I don't know why." So C-Rag gets her panties ALL in a bunch and starts doing the chicken strut/squawk thing going "What??? Did you just call me a bitch?" New Becky has fled at this point so I told her yes, yes I did call her a bitch, because she was ACTING like a fucking bitch. So she gets in my face, I get in her face, and really at this point I was pretty close to just jacking her in the all fairness she was probably right there too. And it's really not important who would have won in a fight (note: I would have) because our mutual friend, on a "We have a tight situation developing over here" tip, came over and literally picked her up and carried her away from me. In retrospect that was probably a good thing. But the issue is this: if you are acting like a bitch and by all accounts trying your hardest to be bitchy and butt into people's business and piss them off...well don't get all up in arms when someone says "Hey, you are a bitch!" Me personally, if I'm being bitchy and someone calls me a bitch, I'm going to say, "You're damn right I'm a bitch, now get the fuck out of my face." I have a rule (coined after dealing with a 2-faced skank from my school who was nice to my face and was a horrible person behind my back...she knows who she is) and it is as follows: If you are going to be a bitch, own it. That's all. Just...own it. Don't be fake nice, don't pretend you're not.
So this is for you, C-Rag, your own very special shout-out:


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